i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
