She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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