Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
