that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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