There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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