I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
