lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
