i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
