Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize