Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
