i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
