the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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