He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
