dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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