you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
