How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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