ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize