Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
