There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
tell me about the fingering
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