just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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