Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
