Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize