I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I could make wine with my vomit
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
