that's an acceptable place to lick
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
