I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
