honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
