i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
