You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize