dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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