My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
handjob tips. give me some.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
