So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize