Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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