I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
