you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
