Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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