I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
