Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize