Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
