at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize