everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
