and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You are a genius and a whore.
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