So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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