just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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