ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
