The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
