I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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