just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
