The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
