You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
