So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
