ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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