we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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