I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize