I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
