I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
