ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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