dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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