Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Randomize
