Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
