i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize