I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I need water and some morals
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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