Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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