ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
