Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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