Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
