At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
