I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
