i just snorted my name. best moment ever
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
