HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
