Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
