so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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